Better Out Than In

When I first began this blog, I promised full disclosure. No filter, no excuses, no beating around the bush. I have kept too much too close to the chest and I reached a point in my life where I needed to take off the mask I wear for the world. It was finally time to show the tears of the clown.

They say when you are nauseated, that it's better out than in. Meaning, it's much better for the body, mind and soul to, well, purge everything that you're keeping inside. It's better to release the poison that we are keeping in our bodies. This blog (and the two that preceded it) are my release of what I keep inside me. Some times it's blogging that even allows me to sleep at night. This blog is a no-holds-barred look into my life. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Tonight I had a drink after work with my "coworker". She doesn't actually work with me. In fact, it's the girl I mentioned not too long ago. She gave me some dark fragments of her life and, in turn, I gave her some dark fragments of mine. No barriers. Things that I could tell she's been keeping inside and it was things that I know I've been keeping buried.  Why? Because if I don't have to talk about it, I don't have to relive it. But that's not healthy and this was one of these times where it was truly better out than in.

You know what? It felt good. Really good. Emotions and memories that have been buried for years came to the surface and the thing that was absent was the pain that is associated with it. The more I talk about it, the less it hurts. These memories...they have been the chains of Marley for too many years and I'm ready to release them. I'm ready to release them and move on. I'm ready to be reborn from the ashes of my past.