The Time Machine Inside My Head

One of the benefits of being a writer, especially a blogger, is that we're allowed the luxury of introspection. It's entirely expected that we go around contemplating the going-ons of the world we live in. We ruminate equally on the lives of others and of ourselves.  Which brings me to tonight's post: the time machine inside my head.

This evening I was in need of a walk to clear my head and to get a slight change in scenery. I didn't want to travel far, so I picked Safeway as my destination. I rarely go there (for no reason, really), so worked perfectly as a mild escape from the day-to-day pattern of life that I have. I took my time going there, ducking into another local market to wander and glanced in a local coffee shop that was barren of customers, but still open, nonetheless. The important factor to keep in mind is that the path I chose and took was down Main Street. I'll get to its importance in a minute.

Anyway, I reached Safeway, strolled around for about ten minutes, and then left. The whole point of this trip was, not to buy anything, but as I mentioned several times, to slip away. While I was in Safeway, I noticed that a local brewery had already released a pumpkin beer, which, now that I think about it, was the trigger to my contemplative journey back. It seems odd at first glance, but it's a subconscious signal of the changing of the seasons; which will eventually lead to the ending of another year. The unrepressible march of time continues forward.

As I began my stroll back, and this is where the importance of Main Street comes into play, I happened to start to approach the new high school. The old high school, the one I went to, was finally demolished this month. Out with the old and in with the new. Very little else has changed (structurally, anyway) on Main Street, but, as a whole, the demise of the old school is just another severed tie that once held my past to my present. The drive-in movie theater closed a few years back. The drive-in restaurant that used to hold a classic car show every Friday was closed down last year. A clothing store that used to sell letterman jackets and school rings finally went out of business this year. An old drug store that was around for 50 years is now a thrift shop that helps the local humane society. Even my 15 year high school reunion, which took place a couple weeks back, only had five people, counting myself. To sum it up, I was meant to move back here just so I could finally close the chapter of my hometown and move away forever.

It's bittersweet, this change. I'm no longer saddened or angered by the drastic spike in crime and meth that has swallowed up a town I used to call home. No, now all I am is just disappointed in the course of events that led to it. I do not grieve as I accept the very real future of me walking away and turning my back to it. It's just a let down that it had to happen this way. That we, as a species, are not allowed to have nice things, because we will only bring them to a ruin. We tarnish what we touch, as if a reverse King Midas. And even now, it what could be claimed as the pinnacle of technological advancement, still cannot get past our petty differences and self inflicted invisible barriers to become one race of people working towards one goal. It is truly this that I lament the most.

The other piece of the puzzle that brought me to this point was something I came across earlier this summer online. It's a picture on Imgur entitled "Only 90's kids will...oh...": http://imgur.com/gallery/uPims It sums up everything that my generation struggles with the most-rapid change. Some quotes from it include: "because so much technological advancement  happened in a rapid time frame when we were growing up that we can clearly remember having technologies that are now obsolete..." "Just to add onto that, our childhood wasn't even that technology based. We grew up knowing of chalk, skateboards, jump rope, street hockey, playgrounds, butterfly collecting, etc. Slowly technology took over our lives and now there are hardly kids playing outside in the summer." and finally "Not to mention, ours was the last generation that grew up with all those bright promises of "hard work, go to college, and you'll have a successful life," only to find those hopes abruptly dashed when the housing bubble burst."

You could argue that we as a society have evolved to a point where such technologies are integral; but we're still at a point where random strangers hide behind their keyboards, starting flame wars and spewing hatred to individuals who they have never even met. Or cyber bullying, which is even worse than regular bullying because of how quickly and anonymously is spreads like digital wildfire. Kids and teens have always been ruthless to one another; but entire reputations are destroyed in minutes over rumors spread over Facebook and Instagram. People always ask where the parents are; not considering that they're glued to the same devices their offspring are. We don't talk, we text. We don't laugh, we LOL with a straight face. Why go to a communal movie theater when you can sit alone in your room watching Netflix? We have fully succumbed to mechanical agoraphobia; and it not only happened overnight, it happened without us even realizing it. And we "90's kids" were at the head of the parade that led us down this road.

And the fact of the matter is this: we can no longer control what we have created. This addiction is too entwined for us to ever quit.

As I mentioned before, one of my goals this year was closure. Letting go and moving on from the things that haunt my thoughts and steal the sleep from me. And, it is with much sadness, that I am choosing to walk away from this town and to not look back. While I still hold dear these memories; this town is of no more use to me than the Walkman I once had as a child.