Wednesday, January 6, 2016

So This Is The New Year...

It's barely into 2016 and I can already tell it's going to be a big year. This is going to be the year where all of the turbulent changes of the previous two turn into something amazing. Truly phenomenal. Because, the biggest change that began this year is me.

I'm not perfect. If there's anything I'm vocal about, it's that. But that doesn't mean that I'm not striving to be a better person. I try and make that a daily goal of mine. Some days are a success. Others, not so much. However, we learn more from our defeats and shortcomings than we ever do from our successes and accomplishments. To err is human; and the ability to grow from this is also human.

We are a rose in the concrete jungle of life. The soil and water might not be the best, the lack of sunlight might be more prevalent; but to grow in spite of this is what defines success and failure.

What makes this year so different than the previous two is I'm shedding the shroud of self-defeat. Have I suffered? Greatly. Have I been shortchanged by circumstances? Of course. But I'm seizing control of what I do have control over and starting from there. Accept my supposed limitations. Accept my faults. Hold myself accountable for my actions and how they affect others. That's step one.

Step two is going to be writing. No excuses. I've become aware of how I let myself become distracted from my purpose and that is truly unacceptable. I have two novels in the works and by the end of the year, I will have finished both. Even if it means taking a year off from NaNoWriMo.

I'm rebuilding relationships and friendships this year. Over the course of last year, I began to realize that I had been taking certain friendships not as seriously as I should. That's on me. Even though it was unintended, I am nevertheless at fault. I will also do what I can to rebuild a friendship with a certain individual that I truly care about. Trust can only be rebuilt by proving one can be trusted. Friendship (and all relationships) is built upon being there for each other and not taking advantage of one another. We're all guilty of this. Including myself. The object now is to rebuild from the ashes. If she'll even let me.

This is also going to be the year where I start being selfish. What I mean by that is that I truly am kind to a fault and put others needs before my own. I've always been a "giver" (which won't change), but this year I'm going to be focusing on me and getting me back to where I should be. Health wise, relationship wise finance wise, and occupation wise. This past year showed me that those are the four main things I need to work on. The latter two will be easier than the first two. I need to start taking care of myself so I can continue to take care of others. An empty bucket provides no water.

Finally, to end on a non serious note: This is the year I start having fun again. Hiking, camping, reading,  spending more time in the moment than on my phone. Travel. I will travel this year. It's been too long. This will be the year where I bring laughter back into my life. To once again take advantage of the blissful serenity of doing nothing. Take more photos, too. Even if it's just with my phone.

So, yes, 2016 will be a big year. But only if I allow it to be. After all, at the true heart of any successful resolution is carpe diem (not "new year, new me"). Change only occurs if we first seize each opportunity and make it our own.

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