Chris: "I have a theory. The crappy guys package up better than the nicer guys. So the girls fall for the nice packaging. Then enters nice guy, stage right.... And the grass is greener there. By contrast? He's perfect. But when they're single? Nothing to contrast with... And they think: "wheres that great packaging?"
Me: "That would also explain the "friendzone" phenomenon. Lack of comparison."
Chris: "Yeah, I thought so, too. I think of it in a graphic design sense on food packaging. We crave the better stuff once the bad stuff makes us feel shitty. But give us a choice without any burn out and them both equally presented? We usually pick the better package design."
Me: "Although...another thought I just had-we also aren't trying to win their affection. Which makes us a non-threat, meaning there's no mating dance involved. They can let down their facade and just be normal around us."
Chris: "Definitely. No peacock flourish. Its a good AND bad thing."
Me: "True. Take fast food, for example. Jack-In-The-Box is no healthier than McDonald's, but there's loads of people who would never step foot in a Mickey Dee's and eat at Jack In The Box."
Chris: "Very much so. They advertise smarter for greasier food."
Me: "So, there's s lack of a mating dance and there's a contrast between what they currently have and what they could have. Suddenly it's all making sense."
Chris: "I could be off... But it made sense enough for me."
Now, before I continue, I'm sure there are some of you out there who might (and probably are) offended at the comparison between the choice of a mate and the choice of a fast food restaurant. I completely understand and I would hate to be compared like that, as well. I fully admit that it is an atrocious metaphor. It's just the first thing that popped into my head and I apologize if I have offended any one thus far. We're just two guys trying to figure all this out; and we just broke down a very complex conundrum into a format we could both equate to, and thus communicate what has been bothering both of us.
Perhaps it's why we're both still single.
Moving on, I do know that there is a decent sized portion of the male population who struggles with the same thing we do. Pop culture is littered with scenarios such as this. While I am not one of those "nice guys finish last", I also know from personal experience that we're also not exactly at the front of the line, either. I am also the first one to say that there is no such thing as an "entitled friend." If she's not into you, she's not into you. Move on and move forward. Don't make the actual nice guys villains because you're forcing your intentions on someone who is not interested in you. I personally have been "friendzoned" numerous times and it has never, ever been a bad thing. My closest female friend is someone who did that to me. I wouldn't trade that friendship for the world.
So, in closing, if you are a guy like us, I hope this helps. Just don't twist it to justify any horrid intentions you may have. As one nice guy to another-don't be a dick. M'kay?
Me: "That would also explain the "friendzone" phenomenon. Lack of comparison."
Chris: "Yeah, I thought so, too. I think of it in a graphic design sense on food packaging. We crave the better stuff once the bad stuff makes us feel shitty. But give us a choice without any burn out and them both equally presented? We usually pick the better package design."
Me: "Although...another thought I just had-we also aren't trying to win their affection. Which makes us a non-threat, meaning there's no mating dance involved. They can let down their facade and just be normal around us."
Chris: "Definitely. No peacock flourish. Its a good AND bad thing."
Me: "True. Take fast food, for example. Jack-In-The-Box is no healthier than McDonald's, but there's loads of people who would never step foot in a Mickey Dee's and eat at Jack In The Box."
Chris: "Very much so. They advertise smarter for greasier food."
Me: "So, there's s lack of a mating dance and there's a contrast between what they currently have and what they could have. Suddenly it's all making sense."
Chris: "I could be off... But it made sense enough for me."
Now, before I continue, I'm sure there are some of you out there who might (and probably are) offended at the comparison between the choice of a mate and the choice of a fast food restaurant. I completely understand and I would hate to be compared like that, as well. I fully admit that it is an atrocious metaphor. It's just the first thing that popped into my head and I apologize if I have offended any one thus far. We're just two guys trying to figure all this out; and we just broke down a very complex conundrum into a format we could both equate to, and thus communicate what has been bothering both of us.
Perhaps it's why we're both still single.
Moving on, I do know that there is a decent sized portion of the male population who struggles with the same thing we do. Pop culture is littered with scenarios such as this. While I am not one of those "nice guys finish last", I also know from personal experience that we're also not exactly at the front of the line, either. I am also the first one to say that there is no such thing as an "entitled friend." If she's not into you, she's not into you. Move on and move forward. Don't make the actual nice guys villains because you're forcing your intentions on someone who is not interested in you. I personally have been "friendzoned" numerous times and it has never, ever been a bad thing. My closest female friend is someone who did that to me. I wouldn't trade that friendship for the world.
So, in closing, if you are a guy like us, I hope this helps. Just don't twist it to justify any horrid intentions you may have. As one nice guy to another-don't be a dick. M'kay?
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