Living With the Demon

"Some day soon we all will be together. If the Fates allow. Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow." -Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

A friend of mine almost killed himself tonight. I watched the drama unfold on Facebook and (thankfully) a mutual friend intervened and saved his life. If she hadn't come for him when she did, he would have jumped off the bridge and taken his own life.

It seems a lot of people I know are going through some heavy stuff right now. I know of two separate people who broke up with their significant others on New Year's Eve. For good reason, mind you, but still a major coincidence. There's the friend who almost killed himself; and I'm pretty certain his relationship is over with his girlfriend. Then the attempted break-in just before New Year's with me and my aunt. Everyone I come across is extremely unhappy and to the point where we're at each other's throats. Which is unusual, because normally people are a lot calmer after the post-holiday stress is off their shoulders and many people begin resolutions to improve their lives. I personally am on the edge of falling into a deep depression; and if it wasn't for the drastic increase in my vitamin intake, I probably would have gone over that edge already.

Speaking of which, I feel for my friend. I know exactly what it's like to be in that place mentally, because I've been there quite a few times. I've never taken that final step because there's always been someone there to intervene. It wouldn't surprise me if I get to that place soon, again-especially with an upcoming birthday (which is never guaranteed to be a good day. Sometimes it is. Other times, well...). I'm not going to, mind you, because I know how many people it would hurt and I would never intentionally hurt someone. But the darkness is beginning to unfold and one of the classic signs (the disappearance of my appetite) has already begun. Thankfully, I'm recognizing the signs and, as I said before, I've amped up my vitamin intake to combat it. So far, so good.

The hardest thing someone with depression can do is talk about it. We speak not of the devil that is dragging us down. Instead, with our silence, we allow it to consume us. That is why I post about it so much. I know what it's like to let the darkness all consume me and if I don't shed light on it by talking about it, I know it will claim me. Just like it almost claimed my friend tonight.