"Oh girl, this boat is sinking. There's no sea left for me. And how the sky gets heavy, when you are underneath it. Oh, I want to sail away from here. And God.... He came down, down, down..." - Otherside by Macklemore.
As a writer, there is nothing more intimidating than a blank screen and a blinking cursor. Ideally, it's an invitation to create, but it can be the most frightening and paralyzing thing you can see. There's a lot of doubt that fills the very essence of your being as you look at the possibility of either utter and complete failure or skyrocketing success. Or, the worst of it all-mediocrity. Because I, like every other writer, would rather be a terrible writer than a mediocre one. One who's craft is utter meaningless crap.
Being a writer is the loneliest type of magician there is. We create whole worlds; while we can barely live in our own. We're shut-ins by nature. We HAVE to be shut ins-the world is a noisy place and full of distraction. We're dysfunctional by default and the best of us are truly broken souls. Some of, hell probably most of the greats dealt with crippling depression and more than a few committed suicide. And addiction is something that runs just as rampant in the wordsmith community. We let the coping mechanisms take over; and most of the time we don't even realized it. Writing staves off the demons in our head for a while, but never permanently. Which is the other main drive of why we keep writing. And, to clear the air right now-no writer writes to get rich. No real writers, any way. The biggest and most universal addiction that writers have is writing itself. The flow of words as they materialize in front of us is almost a high. No, strike that, it is one. When a writer is "in the zone" we're getting high on our own craft and there's a fire inside us that allows us to feel alive once more. Which is why when we stop writing, the crushing weight of depression kicks back in. Hence the quote at the beginning of this post.
By nature, writers are difficult people to be around for an extended period of time. I am, at the very least self-actualized to both realized and admit this. I know how moody I can be; even if I don't realize at the time how difficult I'm being. Don't get me wrong-we're (for the most part) very down-to-earth and (somewhat) friendly people. Some of us (such as myself) are also extremely non-judgmental people you'll ever meet. But being around us for an extended period of time is about as good for you as being around untreated uranium. By nature we can be extremely self-destructive and it's hard to maintain a friendship that is constantly doubting themselves. One minute we can think we're the best writer that has ever put pen to paper and the next we want to set fire to everything we have ever written. Especially during the editing process.
Before you start thinking we're the most terrible people to ever walk this Earth, there's many redeemable qualities about us. First off, we LOVE our readers. I cannot emphasize that enough. To know that someone is reading our work (and hopefully is enjoying it) is the biggest thrill. The most gratifying experience is when someone says that they love our work. I'm not going to lie-we may be skeptical at first, but that's only because, as I mentioned before, we constantly doubt ourselves and our work. So, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, we love our readers far more than you love us. Someone told me recently that they loved something I had written and I wanted to hug the crap out of them.
Second is our quirks are pretty awesome. Writers love our tools. I'm a big quality pen freak. Quality pens are pretty much the best thing ever. Especially when you hear them scratch over quality paper and the magic begins again. And typewriters. Despite where technology has taken us, every writer should not only own a typewriter, but use it at least once a year. I personally do not own one, but I will as soon I have the ways and means to pick one up. Growing up, my family had an electric Smith Corona and the hum it made while it sat there waiting for the magic to begin; followed by the ecstasy educing sound of the pounding of each letter hitting the paper and the creation of each word. The clanking and rattling is the best sound in the world. As soon as I can, I'm going to find and pick up one of those Smith Coronas for myself. I honestly know and believe that I need one of those in my life.
Writers are also readers and we're always searching for amazing quotes. When I came across this Buzzfeed article the other day, I had to bookmark it immediately: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jenniferschaffer/i-am-i-am-i-am#.mtr7xMeBa The perfect turn of a phrase is what we live for. There is a strange electricity in the forming or reading of a perfect sentence. In fact, the one of the best is Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn; as every sentence is razor sharp and cuts to the bone. Not a single word is wasted and that is truly a rare thing to find in any novel. I honestly tip my hat to her.
Brevity, as you may have noticed, is not my strong suit. I realize that. Which is why I'm cutting this short. Writers have a strong tendency to go off on tangents and I'm a perfect example of this. To be blunt, I had the strong urge to write and this is what came from that. I will add, in closing, that I started watching the show Californiacation yesterday and the show struck pretty close to home for me. The show, if you're not aware, is about a writer who is dealing with crippling bout of writer's block and it's about his struggle to not only write, but deal with life while he can't. If you do check out the show, be forwarded that there is a lot of sex, drinking, and somewhat drug use. He also smokes like a chimney. But he also has a lot of redeeming factors about him. And it is honestly the most closest depiction of what being a writer is truly like. Because, at the end of the day, the thing that is most vital to writers is writing itself.
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