Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Who Will Save Your Soul?

Over the past few months, I've been approached with increasing frequency by Mormom missionaries. There's one in particular who I have run into the most. He's a good kid, and in a way I feel bad for him because he's now coming to the realization that I'm not going to attend any services at an LDS church (other than out of passing curiosity). 

I personally don't have anything against Mormons. For the most part, they're good people and I haven't had a single negative experience with a Mormon. My god-family is (well, was, as only a couple of them have retained the faith) Mormon, a good number of my friends growing up are Mormon, and a girl who I had a crush on for years is Mormon. Yet I have no desire to convert and, up until recently, no one has bothered to even try to get me to. 

My spiritual journey is a very private one. I'm not vocal about my faith because, well, honestly the image of Christianity is tarnished enough as it is. While I'm not a terrible person (I hope), I have made some truly terrible mistakes in my life and have even gotten into some heated disagreements with the Almighty. No one truly understands how stubborn I am more than He does and there have been occasions where he has allowed what I pleaded for Him to allow, only so I could go through the heartache of my mistakes and to truly learn from them. I may learn from my mistakes, but sometimes it takes running into that brick wall seven or eight times before I realize there's a reason it wasn't meant to be.

If I could put a summary on my beliefs, it would be the phrase "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future" (Oscar Wilde). So much so that I'm considering getting it tattooed somewhere. It has been a journey of pain and redemption; an unrelenting cycle of faith and doubt. There is a huge difference in doubting the existence of God and doubting that He knows what he's doing. The Bible is choke full of those who openly questioned God's intentions to his face. Abraham, Job, Jonah, Moses, every one of the disciples, etc. David, whom God called His beloved, questioned Him almost daily on what He was doing. At least half the psalms could be summed up with the phrase "why God why?" Even Jesus, in the Garden, wept tears of blood and asked if there was a way He could be spared His fate. 

Yet, where there is doubt, there is also an unspoken trust that He's got this covered. One phrase that reoccurs with quite frequency throughout both the Old and New Testament "do not be afraid". Two of my all time favorite verses are Matthew 6:34 ("Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own") and John 16:33 ("I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."). Ultimately I do yield to His will because ultimately I do trust Him that He's got this. Quite literally, I am alive today because...well, I don't know why, but He hasn't let me check out yet and there has been more than ample opportunity to do so. Many instances I didn't realize how close I was to death  until after the fact; and had I not listened to the nudges I was getting, I wouldn't be here to type this. But, whatever the reason, I know that in the end, it will have been worth it.

2 comments:

  1. Spirituality is a very personal thing for people. I think many people get tied up in who is right and wrong; and doesn't look at the persons happiness or their own experiences. I personally do not partake in any religion, I have no specific "religious affiliation" or what have you. However I always respect the beliefs of everyone else, and never say anyone is wrong because honestly, who knows in the end? We all live different lives, have different experiences, emotions, and spiritual beliefs. I live with a simple code of love, respect, and mercy for everyone; something that if everyone would adopt, regardless of individual beliefs, would make the world alot better place. This is why since stepping away from most religion I don't express my beliefs. Because they are different from many others I know, and people have said horrible things behind my back because I believe something different. Religion is not a bad thing, but to many extreme people who try to scare you into believing is a bit much in my opinion. Expressing concern is one thing, but condemning is another. I guess what I'm trying to ramble about is if you wanna share what you believe and expect respect, it goes both ways. Respect everyone because you don't know where they've been. Love unconditionally, help others, be at peace within yourself and with whatever higher power if any that you believe: God, Alah, the Universe, Karma, Mother Nature, etc.Glad you shared this post bro and just know that whatever anyone else says, follow what YOU feel in your heart and don't settle. You do that; you've made the right choice. :D

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  2. Broheim, I seriously could not have said it better, myself. :) Each person's spiritual journey (even the lack thereof) is intensely personal and intensely their own. There used to be a saying of "You don't talk about politics and religion at the dinner table" because both can start heated arguments over the smallest thing. My own personal beliefs, while clearly Christian, have elements of Buddhism in there, as well-mainly doing good and being good and the stresses on meditation and achieving harmony in everything that you do. We're all in this life together, so why not treat everyone you meet with dignity and respect? If I can leave this world a better place than when I came into it, then I will say that it was a life fulfilled.

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