Terminated.

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I was fired last week. There, I said it. I’m getting it off my chest. I was fired last week from a job that I severely disliked and I was admittedly miserable at. I dreaded going to work ever single day. It got to the point where, when I was let go, I felt a massive weight come off my shoulders. I wanted out and this was the most blunt way of it happening. 

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I was fired last week. The proverbial professional “f” word. The one that future companies will enquire about. Perhaps he was a bad egg. Perhaps he was lazy and constantly late. Perhaps he drank on the job. Perhaps he wasn’t smart enough or qualified enough for the position. Perhaps he was already thinking about leaving and was mentally checked out. Getting fired is the career equivalent of getting divorced. Even if it’s “irreconcilable differences” and the parting of ways was almost mutual — there will always be that judgment. That black mark. A smudge on your past that you can’t fully escape.

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I was fired last week. Coming from someone who is a self-described “workaholic”, it was a blow. Someone who, even upon when I was terminated, I was told I was probably one of the most thorough individuals who have ever held that position. Too thorough, evidently. They say that, psychologically getting fired can be the mental equivilent of losing a loved one. You rarely see it coming and most of us define our careers as an extension of who we are. So being let go is, in a way, someone telling you that you are a lie. All that you thought you were professionally was just an illusion. 

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I was fired last week. And it sucks. There’s no bones about it. Even Muhammad Ali took some blows that knocked him down — and I’m hardly the man that he was. But laying on the mat isn’t an option. Self-pity is not a road I can afford to travel down. The importance behind the saying “get back on the horse” is that if you don’t, it starts to affect you. You begin to fear the horse and you will eventually never ride again. Your defeat drags you down. Getting fired is no different. 

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I was fired last week. But that’s not who I am today. 

On Writing.

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“To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it’s about, but the inner music that words make.” — Truman Capote

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Ask any writer, no matter what the purpose of their craft is, what the most intimidating thing is and you’ll get one answer: the blank page. That ticking, blinking cursor just waiting for you to start pushing buttons and jumble about the alphabet enough to produce something…hopefully good, at least. The expectation to create greatness from absolutely nothing is quite paralyzing at times. Especially when you have a deadline looming over your head. Consider this Insight #1 on the crafting of words.

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Insight #2 is that there are no rules. Oh sure, you can take all the creative writing classes you want and they’ll tell you that there are steadfast guidelines on which you need to follow — but the fact of the matter is that unless you’re in journalism or any other paid format writing business, there aren’t any concrete commandments on how you go about it. 

I have three perfect examples for this: Finnegans Wake by James Joyce, the children’s books of Dr. Seuss, and the collective works of both Hunter S. Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut. Finnegans Wake was, according to Wikipedia: “significant for its experimental style and reputation as one of the most difficult works of fiction in the English language…The entire book is written in a largely idiosyncratic language, consisting of a mixture of standard English lexical items and neologistic multilingual puns and portmanteau words, which many critics believe were attempts to recreate the experience of sleep and dreams.” Dr. Seuss took the format of children’s books, filled them with rhymes that they would love and would remember for years to come, and then use the format to teach children about racism, environmental issues, and other topics that we would assume would be far over a child’s head. And, let’s be honest, the collective works of both Hunter S. Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut are, for lack of a better term, hallucinogenic. Exhibit A: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Slaughterhouse 5.

So stop worrying about breaking some all-binding literary decree and start making art. It’s as simple as that.

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Insight #3. There are far too few honest writers out there. Anyone can write a book. At times, it feels like everyone but me is writing a book. But how many tomes sitting on shelves in both book shops and inside homes were written to serve the sole purpose of making both the author and publisher some money? How many books out there actually SAY something? Ask yourself this as you’re browsing through the library or book store: How many of these were published because they fulfilled a genuine purpose? 

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Insight #4. Don’t try to get into a writer’s head or try and figure them out. Period. Most of the time even we don’t know what our thought process is. The best quote for this was by Victor Hugo: “A writer is a world trapped in a person.”

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Insight #5. Your favorite writer, whoever it may be, is probably screwed up in the head somehow. Wikipedia has an article on writers who have committed suicide and the list is quite lenghty (at least 200). Also lengthy is another article on Thought Catalog listing writers who were alcoholic (99). May others were addicted to other substances — I learned this morning that Robert Louis Stevenson, the author of Treasure Island and The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde once wrote 60,000 words in six days while on cocaine. 

But the number one thing all writers are addicted to: Writing. There’s a genuine need for it and life is unfulfilling if we go too long without writing.

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Insight #6. Writers love words. Love them. The way they sound, the way they look, the way they perfectly describe something and give it meaning. When I was in high school, I would randomly start reading the dictionary. Before I start any sort of piece, I have a separate tab for the thesaurus website open. I have fallen in love with how something is phrased— many times. I’ll even jot them down so I can read it again later. 

The other thing that we love is writing instruments — particularly pens. The way they look is important; but also the sounds that they make when scratching on paper. Weight is crucial to a good pen. If it’s too heavy, it creates hand fatigue. It also (and this may sound stupid, but it’s important) must be portable. If a pen is too large, it will be set down and promptly forgotten somewhere. And whoever came up with the concept of tiny pens and pencils was clearly not right in the head.

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Insight #7. The true keys to being a phenomenal writer are actually quite simple: Read good writers. Your writing will start to mimic them, so focus on someone who is truly talented. Write a lot. Daily, if possible. The more you practice the craft, the more you’re able to perfect it. In fact, you don’t even need to focus on one project. Sometimes all you need to do is throw words on a page and walk away. Sometimes, many times, that’s all you’ll be able to accomplish, any way. Especially if you are going through a bout of writer’s block. And lastly, don’t give up. As with all aspects in life, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You will fail. You will write utter crap. You will get shot down by many publishers. But giving up isn’t an option. No matter what that little voice in your head and the doubters outside it try and convince you.

Let. Go.

I have a simple exercise for you. Take three small sheets of paper and a pen. On the first piece of paper, write down all your limits, faults, mistakes, and other things like that. Then crumple it up and throw it away.

On the second piece of paper, write down all your dreams and ambitions. Everything you want to achieve in this life. Then crumple it up and throw it away.

On the third piece of paper, write down your routines, daily schedule, and plans for the next year. Then crumple it up and throw it away.

Now that you have just shed yourself of everything that you thought was you, what does that leave you with? Simple. Limitless unexpected opportunity. You see, there is a whole world of chance that we are completely blind to because we are held up by those three sheets of paper. We blame society for the so-called box — but the true reality is that we are the ones who not only put ourselves in it, but create it in the first place. The saying “we are our own worst enemies” is all-encompasing. It is the fear of the unknown and an inherent need to stay in a place of known comfort that keeps us locked down. 

I’ll give you a perfect example: Kenya, which is one of the poorest countries in the world, has produced the world’s best marathon runners. Jamaica, which is a country that rarely, at best has seen snow, has a bobsled team. Man first stepped foot on the moon a mere 66 years after the Wright brothers had their first flight. Something they accomplished with a slide rule and far less technology than the computer I am typing this post on. 

There’s a saying: “Proceed as if success is inevitable.” The only way you can ever accomplish this is if you let go of everything that you think you know and take that first step. So, stop clipping your own wings and take flight to the limitless skies.