I took a leap of faith recently and quit my stable full time job to pursue a career selling insurance. Slight back story: I have become increasing more unhappy with said job within the past few months due to a long commute, lack of proper compensation, and a myriad of other reasons. This opportunity fell into my lap — one that would completely evaporate my commute, pay impressively, and allow me to not only build a book of business that would be all my own; but actually be in a career path that would allow me to truly help people.
The issue is that insurance is a federally regulated industry. Meaning that you have to take a qualification exam in order to even start. And I am terrible at taking tests. Always have been. Always will be. For example, I’ve studied all last week (the week prior was my last week with the day job; so I didn’t exactly have a chance to study during that time) — yet I took the practice test five times and did abysmal each time. The highest score that I got was 58% and the lowest (just now) was 35%. For reference sake, the passing percentage is 70%.
And, of course, the real test is tomorrow morning. To say that I’m stressed is an understatement.
What does that have to do with writing? With each word that I pound out in this post, I feel the anxiety slip away. With each syllable, consonant, vowel, and even just each letter, I feel the stress melt away. The production of language is something that I truly need to do. I crave it. I’m happiest when I’m the most well written. Each blog post that I produce is me getting my fix.
I know that no matter what else I do throughout the day, this is the one thing that I truly have control over. I manifest script and story.
I am a writer. I live and breathe words. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, do I have great trepidation over tomorrow, I am soothed tonight. The day job, the paycheck, the career, all of these have always been just what I need to do to allow me to write.
Tomorrow will come and go. I have done all that I can to prepare. But tonight — tonight I write. Each day has enough trouble of its own, so I might as well embrace tonight.
